Self-care
Recommendations to learn, grow and heal
These are the books and products we recommend most often, based on what helps us and what clients tell us has helped them. Search for them on Google or Amazon.
Books
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- The place to start for understanding what trauma does to the brain and body.
- Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro
- For anyone curious about EMDR.
- Books by Lundy Bancroft
- Bancroft has studied and written extensively about abusive men. Understanding them is a first step toward healing and choosing your path.
- Stalking the Soul by Marie-France Hirigoyen
- How emotional abuse wears down a person's sense of self.
- Trauma Stewardship by Laura van Dernoot Lipsky
- For therapists, DCS workers, first responders and others who work with traumatized people, on caring for yourself in this work.
- Books by Brené Brown
- Brown is a qualitative researcher who studies emotions. Start with Atlas of the Heart (the hardcover is best), then try a few more.
- Boundaries resources by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Search their names on Amazon to find resources for every age. We often think boundaries are about telling other people what to do. Really, they're about deciding our own limits and holding them when others push.
- Character Disturbance by George Simon
- A helpful overview for understanding people with narcissistic personality disorder.
- In Sheep's Clothing by George Simon
- About people who seem wonderful at first but become someone different, and frightening, as you get close.
- Violence in Families by Rev. Al Miles
- Written by a pastor to help Christians understand domestic violence.
- Domestic Violence: What Every Pastor Needs to Know by Rev. Al Miles
- Addresses issues pastors often struggle with around domestic violence, including why divorce is biblical in these situations.
- Parenting books recommended by Dafna Lender
- We recommend all of the books on Dafna Lender's list. She looks at parenting through the lens of raising emotionally healthy kids with secure attachment. Children and teens have needs that our parenting instincts can steer us away from.
For your body
- Body Back Buddy
- A self-massage tool for trigger points that lets you control the intensity. We recommend the Classic or Elite.
- TriggerPoint foam rollers and massage tools
- Especially the foam rollers and contour massage cane stick.
- TriggerPoint massage ball
- If you've been to Amy's office, you've seen one in her chair. Lean back against it, or use it under your shoulder blade, hip or upper leg. Great for anyone who sits a lot.
- Microwavable heating pads
- Years of dance taught Amy a lot about sore muscles. Dry heat from electric pads tends to lock pain in. Moist heat, like a microwavable pad, brings real relief.
For parents
- My Spark Toolbox for Self-Regulation
- A box of feelings cards with calming strategies that teach kids how to settle their nervous systems.
- Dafna Lender
- Any of her books, podcasts and YouTube videos.
- Brain-Based Parenting by Daniel A. Hughes and Jonathan Baylin
- The neuroscience of caregiving for healthy attachment.
For migraines
Many people who have experienced trauma also live with migraines. Amy does too, and these help her.
- The Headache Hat
- A refreezable ice pack that fastens with velcro. Used early enough, it can sometimes replace medication. It also helps with mild nausea: put it on and walk slowly, focusing on your breathing and relaxing your muscles.
- dōTERRA Deep Blue oil
- Rolled onto the back of the neck at the base of the skull, it feels cooling and the scent eases the migraine. It's especially helpful early on, or with a milder medication.